Everything You Need To Know About Newspapers

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1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

12. The Northwest Florida Daily News is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.

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The Boys Are Back In Town

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I went to Summer camp this morning, in Foxborough MA, with about 10,000 other New England Patriots fan(atic)s.  

It was very hot, and free, and absolutely wonderful to see football back for another season. 

And Tom Brady was already in his teammates' faces to push harder. He even chewed out a ball boy for getting in his way.  

A WBZ-TV reporter interviewed me on camera about my expectations for the team during TB12's four-game regular season suspension. 

"3-1" I replied.  No hesitation.

It's on... 

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